I rarely, if ever, write letters to people in the public eye who will never read what I am writing but here I am. Like you, I try to be a devoted dad to my kids. Like you, I have gone through the ups and downs of separation. Like you, I had/have to deal with a multitude of emotions of what that separation entails for myself as well as my children and my wider family and friends.
Firstly, I want to say that this coming from a place of someone who appreciates your musical talent and artistry. It is clear that you are a talented musician and artist as well as an incredible and hardworking entrepreneur and businessperson. “All of the lights” to this day remains one of my favorite songs of all time. Your gift when it comes to music is undeniable. With that said, I feel compelled to write this letter because of your present circumstances. I realize when you are in the public eye and the media reports on your every movement that it can be stressful and misrepresent you and your actions. During this time you have been using your social media to report your constant gripes and struggles with your children’s mother as well as her current partner. It seems there is a lot of pain and anger in your words. I certainly am not qualified to help you resolve these feelings. I think someone who is highly qualified would be able to help you navigate these emotions. I would hope by this day and age in 2022, going to a therapist or mental health professional is not stigmatized and rather seen as a smart move where you are demonstrating self-care.
Moreover, I think litigating your concerns and problems in the press, public, and social media with the mother of your children as well as her new partners is compounding your issues. In my experience, even if you are not together, your children’s mother is your teammate. You will be lifelong partners in raising your children into responsible, thoughtful, citizens of the world. Your children have the added pressure of growing up in the public eye. It is that much more important that their parents be on the same page. If you are as devoted to your children as you say you are (and I have no reason not to believe you aren’t) then your love of your children must win over your animosity. Putting out constant messages on social media and creating music videos that depict violence and hostility towards the new partner of your children’s mother only serves your own ego and anger. I remind myself constantly and I remind you of the old adage:
“There is a battle of two wolves inside us. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth. The wolf that wins is the one you feed.”
I strongly urge you to sway to feeding your “good” wolf. Your children will thank you now and in the future. It means putting your children first in every movement as you navigate this difficult time in your life. It means setting aside anger, jealousy and resentment in favor of the opposite. It means thinking about your actions before acting rather than the opposite. It is clear that you are a talented musician and artist as well as an incredible and hardworking entrepreneur and businessperson. I have been a fan of yours for many years and find it sad to see how the situation is unfolding for everyone involved but mostly for your four beautiful children. They deserve better from everyone involved.
I hope in the coming days, weeks, months, and beyond, that you and your children and family find peace and healing. To find that peace, you will have to take active steps to take it in that direction. I can tell you from personal experience that often this process can feel overwhelming and fill you with all kinds of emotions. I am sure many fathers empathize with your feelings that you have been outlining on social media. But as fathers, we must demonstrate examples of love for our children. One of the greatest ways of showing love to your children is sacrifice. Sacrifice your anger and rage at this moment for the children’s best interest.
All the best to you,